Cordelia is back with part 5 of her blog series  – Sex stories from the er! 

1.)

So my now fiancé and I were having vanilla sex. We had just finished, and I turned over on my side because I felt out of breath. The more I tried to breathe, the worse I felt. I started having horrible chest pain, with burning and pressure that radiated into my left shoulder and arm. It felt as though an elephant was sitting on my chest.

I found myself very disoriented, and started crying in panic. My speech was garbled, and when I was speaking clearly, it made no sense. The phrase “word salad” comes to mind.

My fiancé called 911, and I was still naked. Somehow, I had the presence of mind to get dressed, with assistance of course. And guess who showed up? None other than my now colleagues. Dear lord was it embarrassing!

2.)

A few months ago, I was having phone sex with a former colleague; I’m poly, so it wasn’t cheating. My lips started going numb, and so did other parts of my body. I just figured that it was a really great and intense orgasm building.

But after I climaxed, the numbness and tingling had claimed my entire body. I could barely speak. It was a real effort, and was reminiscent of stroke patients. Which of course scared the crap out of me.

I told the guy, an AEMT, what was going on. He told me to lie on my chest, and to focus on breathing and his voice. If I didn’t start feeling better, he wanted me to call 911. It took some time, but I did eventually get back to feeling like my normal self.

3.)

Just had one the other day! Guy boning his wife, started having chest pain. Finishes, decides he really doesn’t like how he feels. Calls 911, massive inferolateral wall STEMI. Sex literally gave him a heart attack.

4.)

My ex husband and I were doing the dirty when suddenly it felt like someone stabbed me in the lower right quadrant. I starting screaming bloody murder and scared him to death. I was doubled over the whole way to the ER. Turned out to be a ruptured ovarian cyst. wasn’t the last but definitely the most memorable

5.)

I heard a story from a colleague of the classic unicorn “gerbil in ass” except it was only half way in and was still alive kicking trying to get the rest of the way in/out all the way to the ED

6.)

Heard a story about an old man who was set on having sex with his wife. Poor old guy couldn’t get an erection so be shoved a metal coat hanger up his ass. Push it threw until it gave him an erection

7.)

While doing ER clinicals during EMT school Lady came in with vagina pain. Her date stated it was because he was well endowed. Well after he left room so dr could examine her she stated it was their 1st date and he was fisting her. She then proceeded to say that this was 2nd time in ER after 1st date. Last time she was choked out and went into respiratory arrest.