Cordelia is back with more sex stories from the ER!

If you haven’t checked out the previous blog, click HERE for part 3!

You guys seem to love these stories so buckle up, we’re here for part 4.

1.) “My ex and I had bought some anal beads. It was the stick type that DIDN’T have the loop at the end to prevent it from being completely inserted into your ass. Well, I was enjoying myself a little too much, and the entire stick was sucked up into my ass upon orgasm. After 2 hours of trying to get them out myself, I decided to go to the ER.”

2.) “Just had one the other day! Guy boning his wife, started having chest pain. Finishes, decides he really doesnt like how he feels. Calls 911, massive inferolateral wall STEMI. Sex literally gave him a heart attack.”

3.) “Lady with a dildo stuck in her ass that was still on. Er staff was like “ma’am your phones ringing. We hear it vibrate.” …it wasn’t her phone.”

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4.) “I remember watching this Mexican court show (like Judge Judy in Spanish) and there was an old couple in their 60s. The lady paid a transgender hooker to sleep with her husband for his birthday and he had a heart attack with the hooker’s dick in his ass. They couldn’t get it out because his sphincter had tightened so much on it when he died. They transported them, still attached to the ER where they had to be surgically separated. The old lady was PISSED. Don’t remember who officially sued who over the event but they were both blaming each other, one for wrongful death and the other because she didn’t get paid for her services.”

5.) “I have probably the worst pollen allergies known to man and was already having some slight wheezing and SOB. Me and my fiancé were having sex and I guess choked me a little too hard and I literally couldn’t breathe afterwards. This sent me into a full blown panic and I ended up in the ER. 7 albuterol treatments and a chest X-ray later I’m discharged with an inhaler and asthma diagnosis. He couldn’t wait til the triage nurse asked what I was doing at onset.”

6.) “Have ya’ll seen the video with the guy and the eel in his ass? It was alive and got so far up it ended up perferating his bowel. Eel died, guy almost died.”

7.) “Was bent over doggy style standing up but with my hands on the ground too. Thrusted back so hard but it went up the booty, instead. Fell to the floor, swear I felt my soul leave my body. Got up to walk to the bathroom, fainted and hit my head on one of the door hanger things. It was awful.”

8.) “During my EMT clinical-right when I walked in, we had young man that came in in a wheelchair. He couldn’t walk. He had fallen asleep with a cock ring on and well… shriveling happens. It was so painful for him. They had to sedate him, cut the metal ring on both sides…and very slowly let the flow go back. He was so thankful.”

9.) “Same hospital as the above mentioned, a few weeks later…had a young lady with a latex allergy. She didn’t know she was allergic to latex until she had sex for the first time and her labia practically swelled shut.”

10.) “A women and her bf were having anal and they went a little too hard. She ruptured her colon. When I got there it was a blood bath. Pale and hypotensive. She remained in good spirits despite the situation.”

I swear you sexual deviants could single handedly keep those of in EMS employed. Stop stick things where they shouldn’t go, be cautious of how rough is too rough, pay attention when using toys!

@CMichaelsonblog || cordeliamichaelson@gmail.com

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