Cordelia is here with some sex education about keeping the spark…with chronic pain.
Keeping the spark…what a topic. It’s something I’m asked a lot. “How do you guys keep things interesting, especially with your pain issues?” First off, I took my pain issues by the balls and gave a sharp twist. I was getting really tired of not enjoying myself or sex and we found a way around that. So today, I want to address keeping the spark with you guys.
Difficult Journey
Keeping the spark when dealing with chronic pain can be difficult sometimes. Find a way to reduce that pain. Whether it’s icing down for twenty minutes, the use of medications, whatever. Find a way to bring those pain limits down and then figure out positions.
There’s nothing worse than having sex and your partner is just -totally- not into it. But how can you be when you’re in pain? Speak up! Use your voice? Don’t just suffer through it and make your partner feel unwanted like I used to do. Get some sexual position books, game cards, whatever and find some different positions and give them a go. There are hundreds and I promise, you’ll find one that works for you. Honestly, this goes for regular couples to. Change it up! Find something new!
Games
One thing that we found was really fun for us and helped things spark again was making sex not about the end goal of an orgasm. We refer to is as “leg rubs” because that’s how it started one not but it’s kind of like Karezza. (Check out blog on Karezza, HERE)
It started with me sweet talking my boyfriend into rubbing my hips (my body is pretty beat up and that releases a lot of pressure in my back.) and somehow that turned to traveling hands, soft kisses and it really got my attention. Sometimes worshiping your partner is all you need.
Another thing you can do is find some fun bedroom games. I wrote an article on some a few weeks back but you can always google and find some you’re interested in too. (Check out that article HERE)
Do something new and fun!
If you’re into porn, talk to your partner about watching some with you. Maybe you guys can take a thing or two out of that and try it on each other. Pick up a couple Kamasutra books and see what kind of fun things you can pull up from there.
Go out for a nice dinner, let your partner know how much you want them through dinner and by the time you hit the car, you’ll be racing home to rip each others clothes off.
Teasing…
Another really fun one is teasing your partner through the work day. I personally won’t send nude videos/photos but if you’re comfortable, why not? (just make sure it’s someone you trust!!) Personally, we like to send quick dirty texts through the day to amp each other up. You may find that doesn’t work for you but maybe it will!
Perhaps your partner’s preferences have changed and they’re too scared to tell you or they found something new they want to try. Talk to them about it! Ask them! Maybe it’s something they secretly wanted to try too. Talking fantasies can get really hot and steamy.
Make the time
I don’t care how busy your week is, make time for you and your partner. It’s important to take care of each other and sometimes, when sex starts to get neglected, I don’t think we realize how that makes someone else feel, a little unattractive or unwanted (I speak from experience.) So don’t forget to do that.
To reach Cordelia:
Email: Cordeliamichaelson@gmail.com || Twitter: CMichaelsonblog
