Sensation Play Tips and Tricks
Cordelia is here with more sex education about sensation play tips and tricks for the bedroom!
Following the blog I wrote about different types of sensation play, I figured I’d give you guys a little more information on sensation play.
One thing I’d like to point out is that enjoying sensation play doesn’t necessarily make you a ‘kinky’ person. It’s something that can be incredibly sensual and arousing, it just depends on the type and the level of extremism. This absolutely can be for the couple that wants to add a little extra something (Hot/cold play, soft/scratchy play, wax play!)
The cool thing about this is that there is no right or wrong, it’s what you and your partner feel comfortable doing.
Sensation play also doesn’t necessarily mean it’s going to bring an orgasm either, it could just be that you enjoy the added stimulation. This is aslo something that can be used as foreplay or just something you enjoy doing with each other. Enjoying the pleasures of sensation play does NOT mean sex has to be involved in any way. Perhaps it’s a new, fun way to get to know what makes your partner tick? How they enjoy being touched, where they enjoy being touched… you can learn a lot from this simple style of play. But also keep the fear factor in mind. Some people engage in sensation play to embrace a fear they have (being cut/poked/skin breakage/extreme temperatures/the feeling of blood) that said, when it’s fun, it could also be triggering. There’s a very fine line between fun and fear.
For those that enjoy sensation play a little more extreme than the average, discipline is key – for both the Dom and the sub. With the Dom, it’s the discipline of making sure you’re delivering the sensations in a comfortable manner and for the sub it’s seeing how much you can take – Like, not moving while being tickled, how long can you handle a specific sensation? Can you handle the intensity? These are things that should be discussed with your partner. Everyone has limits and it’s important to know your partners. Seriously, it won’t be fun if you’re not paying attention to what you DON’T like. Don’t push yourself beyond your limits to appease someone else, it needs to be something done for yourself. As I said though, sensation play doesn’t always involve pain.
Sensation play, like other kinks, is an exchange of power.
The Dom is responsible for when, how, where, what kind, and intensity level of a specific sensation. Although, again, stressing this is something you need to talk about and if there are hard limits of sensations you don’t want to experience – for example, I would not be okay with electrostimulation. Allowing the submissive partner to lose control can be exciting for both partners. Some people enjoy adding bondage or blind folding to sensation play which makes it all the more exciting when you’re being deprived of certain senses. But that also enforces the importance of trust, control, and power exchange.
Safety
If you read the last blog about the types of sensation play, you’ll know that it includes some difficult things like extreme temperatures, toys/items that can cause pain, potential fear, the potential to have a mental hold over your partner, and things like that. It’s vital that safety is taken into account. I did suggest taking a first aid or CPR class in the last blog and still recommend doing so (again, I will help you find one!) It really is important for you to be open about everything, not just limits. It’s okay to question your submissive partner about whether they’re truly enjoying something just like it’s equally okay to tell your Dom that you’re not without worrying about disappointing them. Safety is key and so is trust. Your partner needs to know what you’re afraid of and what you enjoy and where you draw the line. Safewords are important to have and should be used and if you’re engaging in play where your partner can’t speak, it’s important to have another signal to stop (i.e. snapping.). It’s also okay to recognize that you didn’t like something as much as much as your thought you did and stop entirely or not do it again. This goes for both the Dom and the Sub.
After care is another extremely important thing that I think sometimes people over pass when it shouldn’t be.
After an intense session, or any session for that matter, it’s important to check on your partner. Start with asking your partner if they’re okay and go from there. What does your partner need? Sweet talking and snuggle? A blanket? A shower? Assistance with something? Food or water? Some people will have hard crashes after play sessions and it’s important to be there for your partner to keep them safe and it’s not just the body that can be affected but the mind as well. Don’t leave your partner alone.
