New to anal? Have no fear, Cordelia is here with some sex education and advice on exploring anal!
A couple weeks ago we had anal for men(HERE) but how about anal for everyone? Anal can be a really amazing thing if done correctly. Six years ago when I first met my partner, I was completely against anal. “You want to stick what, where? Uh-uh Pal, it ain’t going to happen.”
getting the groove
Yeah, well, that’s a lie and things happen sometimes when you’re super horny and an hour later you’re all “oh lord, did I do that?!” Yeah, yeah you did. But let me tell you, once things got comfortable and we found the grove, it’s something that went from painful and one hundred percent unappealing to something incredible.
So what do I suggest for those getting into anal play?
For starters, like I ALWAYS suggest, Do. Your. Research. Whether that’s researching tips and tricks, toys to help prepare you, lubricants, watching porn to see what it’s all about, do it. See if it’s even something that turns you on at all.
have a conversation first
Secondly, talk to your partner. I’ve written a blog on things to talk to your partner about and this is one that you should discuss. Don’t be a dick like I was an laugh when the topic was brought up. Your partner probably wasn’t joking. Mine wasn’t… Also, along with the communication, let your nervous partner be the one in control, let them tell you how far to enter, when to stop, when too much is too much. Sometimes this has to be done in stages to let yourself get comfortable with it, this is totally okay! Respect your partner, especially if they decide this isn’t for them during the act.
Do NOT rush. Rushing will lead to pain and pain is not enjoyable, start slow, let your body adjust and don’t EVER surprise your partner. Sure, accidents happen and every once and a while, there’s a slip and a legitimate ‘oops, wrong hole.’ but don’t be that person that tries to do an intentional slip. You’re only going to hurt your partner and they’re not going to WANT to try this.
Take it easy
Relaxation and foreplay is really important. If you’re tense and nervous, I promise you, it won’t be comfortable. Engage in foreplay and let your mind relax, once that happens and you stop overthinking things, your body will follow suit and your muscles will relax too. For some people (myself included) straight up anal isn’t for them. That said, while your partner is buried in the backdoor, have them use a toy on you simultaneously, or you can. If vibrators aren’t your thing, stimulate the clit with a finger instead. The double play typically helps that whole relaxation thing and you might find the orgasm to be mind blowing.
lube lube and more lube
Use lube. Don’t try and go in without it, it won’t be comfortable. Don’t be afraid to lube the hell out of that booty. If you’re worried about making a mess, use sheets you don’t care about and then shower afterward. Sex is always dirty!
Speaking of messes…sometimes, literally and figuratively, shit happens. If you’re worried about this, use the bathroom 30-60 minutes prior and hop in the shower afterward. Not for nothing, this is a calculated risk that comes with anal. If you’re going to make it a huge deal, perhaps it isn’t for you. If it happens, sure, it can be embarrassing but don’t make it some big thing. Just move things to the shower! But seriously, there are steps you can take to avoid this from happening – research it!
last but not least
My final piece of advice? NEVER EVER EVER go from from the butt to the vagina. EVERRRR. Whether it’s with a penis, toy, or finger. You are opening yourself up to a plethora of infections. If you want to have vaginal sex after anal, use a condom and take it off after anal. And ALWAYS make sure toys are cleaned properly (Read about how HERE.)
have fun!
Ladies, don’t ever think interest in anal makes your man gay or his doesn’t want your V anymore. Anal is a really common kink and a lot of people, men and women alike, love it. I really don’t understand why it’s such a taboo topic because when it’s done right, it can be amazing! This is why knowing what you’re getting into and how to do it is SO important. Diving in head first is never the best way.
Have fun, be safe, keep it consensual!
To reach Cordelia:
Email: Cordeliamichaelson@gmail.com || Twitter: CMichaelsonblog
