When I first started dealing with chronic pain, I was convinced that my life was over, especially my sex life. Some days it hurt to breathe let alone have sex! But playing around with different positions really helped me. I have fibromyalgia, screws in my knee,  and recently had reconstructive shoulder surgery. Oof.

First off, I’d like to recommend using pillows.

You can NEVER use too many blankets or pillows to make yourself comfortable! Propping up the injured or hurting limbs can help alleviate some of the pressure.

Positions:

1.) Modified doggy-style – This is great if you’re unable to thrust and need to be sitting. You can sit and have your partner sit themselves back onto you and do the thrusting while you hold onto their hips. One can sit on a chair while their partner braces themselves against the edge of the bed. I’m sure this modified doggy position might take some getting used to so having a sense of humor and being able to talk to your partner is a must.

2.) Good old 69 – Seriously, if you’re like me and sometimes the only thing that’s comfortable is laying flat on your back, 69 could help take any kind of pressure from kneeling/bending for oral would otherwise put on your body.

3.) Face down, legs together – This is where the receiving partner lays on their stomach with their legs squeezed closed, their partner would enter from behind. This is a GREAT one for me when I’m having a hard time with muscle spasms. This is a great position for someone that has hip, knee, or hand problems. However, this position is not good for folks with neck issues.

4.) Face up, butt up! This position is for folks with leg, pelvis, or back pain. The receiving partner would lay on their stomach with a wedge or pillow under her hips which lifts your butt up. Like #3, the partner would enter from behind. This position is great for people that can’t tolerate laying flat on their backs.

5.) Standing up and facing a wall – This position is less stress on the pelvis, lower back, and shoulders. The receiving partner would stand facing the wall, using their hands or forearms to brace against it while the partner enters from behind.

6.) Straddling – Riding your partner can benefit BOTH parties. If you’re someone who has knee, ankle, feet, or hip problems, laying down while your partner straddles you can take some of the pressure off. If you have back pain that keeps you from laying flat, you can also use a pillow to prop yourself up. The person doing the riding can alleviate hand, elbow, wrist, and shoulder pain as well.

7.) Scissoring – This is great for people with hip or back pain. Thrusting can often be painful for someone with back issues and scissoring allows you to grind against one another without the strenuous thrusting.

8.) Woman on top – This is pretty self explanatory. If you’re a woman and sex is painful (and I find sometimes that with ovarian cysts, deep penetration can be uncomfortable) being on top can help you control depth and speed which can take away some of the pain.

9.) Doggy Style – Doggy style can actually take pressure off the spine so if you have back problems, you might want to consider this.

10.) Missionary with a pillow – Adding a pillow under your lower back during regular missionary position sex can take pressure off your lower back and can assist in taking away some of the pain.

I hope you find some of these positions helpful. I know it can be tricky finding an enjoyable position but maybe this will give you a starting place. My two biggest recommendations though are making sure you have a partner you can communicate with and having a sense of humor. Chronic pain can be scary and stressful and talking can be hard but you need to talk for both your sakes. There is literally no point in suffering in silence!

If you or your partner struggles with chronic pain and you need someone to talk to, please reach out to me! Cordeliamichaelson@gmail.com