I struggled with orgasms for a long time…

I know that every body is different, and what worked for me may not work for yourself or your partner, but after trying just about everything to help the process along for myself, I was finally able to let go.

And from that moment forward, it was game on!

Allow me to share my methods with you and hopefully you will find the orgasm you desire with your partner and find a way to put the mental block aside.

Knowing your own body

Something that truly helped me when I had difficulty orgasming was exploring my body and masturbation. If I didn’t know how my body felt and reacted during a safe and private session, how would I be able to communicate what I wanted from my partner in bed? So, I took to sex toys, working hard to master an orgasm while I was relaxed, not thinking about my facial reactions or if I was doing a good enough job pleasuring my partner. Everything was under my control. Once I was able to feel like I had a grasp on my own needs and what felt good (or bad) during play, it gave me a confidence in my orgasm and what I needed during sex to obtain an orgasm.

Communicating

I will always stress the importance of communication with your partner. A lot of people find difficulty orgasming because they are not confident enough expressing exactly what they want from their partner. If you can’t speak to your partner about your needs in bed, who can you speak to? It’s important to be able to articulate if what they are doing feels positive to you, or if you need things to change. Especially if it’s directly related to your orgasm and ability to have one during that time with your partner.

After you have explored and feel confident with yourself and your body, you may find it easier to have that conversation candidly with them.

Bringing in soldiers

Never be afraid to bring your toys into the bedroom with you if it helps! Ensure that your partner knows you are not replacing them, but only assisting with the process while you both learn about each other’s body and yourselves. If you need a fun warming lube, grab it! If you enjoy a little bit of vibration during play, find a toy that you’re both comfortable with. If you think that roleplaying will assist with your mindset, perhaps it’s time to suggest it to your partner!

Mindset

The biggest hinderance to orgasm is mindset. If you’re busy thinking about the long to-do list that’s waiting for you and everything you’ve neglected to do that day, it will becoming overwhelmingly hard to achieve orgasm. It’s important to be present in the moment during your time playing, giving yourself the opportunity to feel everything happening and enjoy the sensations they are driving. If you find yourself distracted, try different methods to keep in the moment. Such as: playing music in the background, meditation before sex, deep breathing, or sensation isolation (such as stopping to focus on each sound in the room, each touch, driving all other thoughts from your mind).

For my full thoughts, watch the video below!