Orgasm Denial Fetish
Cordelia is here with some sex education about the Orgasm denial fetish.
I wanted to take today to talk about Orgasm denial fetishes. Personally, this is a favorite of mine. Edging, when done right, is incredibly fun. What’s the point of it though? The point is for a submissive to stay aroused for a long period of time. Orgasm denial gives partners both physical and psychological satisfaction and it plays off power. For me, it’s being able to give up control to my partner and ultimate let him have the power. It’s one thing I really enjoy because the bedroom is the one and only place I’m willing to give up control.
Edging
There really isn’t a set amount of time for this and it’s left entirely up to the Dom. It could be a couple hours to a couple days. Really, it depends on the couple and it can change each time. For those into orgasm denial, it’s enjoyable for both parties. A Dom has the satisfaction of watching their partner aroused, desperate, and begging to explode. On the flip side, being the one kept in a constant state of arousal is also enjoyable, mostly the rewarding orgasm that eventually comes.
Tease and Denial
Orgasm denial is not a one and only type of thing. There are several different ways it can be done. So let’s start with the least severe to the most severe. Also, if this is something new to you, I strongly, strongly suggest having a discussion with your partner before diving in and going full force. There are ways to see if you like this fetish without going balls to the wall and ruining it for yourself. Starting with teasing and denial is the easiest and best way to start. Starting off simple might even involve some things you already do. A couple suggests – Dice games! Instead of following the traditional rules, you can change it up, turn the numbers into how many minutes you can’t touch each other and while you’re not allowed to touch? Find other ways to turn each other on.
The dominant partner can allow stimulation of their partner but only after they’ve successfully done something for the dominant partner. Encouraging denial, this can be done a number of ways. For example, tell the person that’s being denied the longer they build, the more they’ll be rewarded with. Simple teasing is another thing you can do (Masturbation while making them watch, stripping in front of them) Start off slow and go from there. The most important part of this is -not- touching.
Ruined orgasms
– ruined orgasms a quite a bit more intense than simple teasing. You’re still allowed to orgasm but you won’t necessarily enjoy it. Typically the Sub has already been pushed beyond the point of an orgasm (aka you have no choice, you are going to orgasm) but then the stimulation is halted. Ruined orgams aren’t usually intense like a regular orgasm. One of the most frustrating things is stopping at kind of stimulation when the person reaches the point of orgasm (i.e. removing a toy from the clit, removing a finger, stopping any kind of stimulation, etc) This can be done alone or with a partner. Delivering pain during an orgasm is another way to ruin an orgasm, this can be done by flicking or slapping the clit or testicles when they’re about to orgasm. This obviously needs to be discussed BEFORE it happens. The goal, however, is to do it hard enough to cause shock/reasonable amount of pain. A blocked orgasm (which is blocking the cum from being expelled) is another type of ruined orgasm but since I question the safety of it, I’d rather not dive into it more.
Edging
– This is my personal favorite part. It’s easily the most frustrating, in my opinion. While a submissive is still denied an orgasm, they’re still getting stimulation of their genitals. This can be done solo or with a partner and unlike a ruined orgasm, the stimulation stops right as the orgasm is about to occur and it doesn’t happen. The sensation fades and then it starts all over again. It’s slow and frustrating but the eventual reward is incredible, despite the feelings of sheer desperation 😉
Complete Denial
Finally, complete denial. This is the most severe and can be scary to a beginner. Complete denial does not allow for any stimulation of the genitals and it’s for a prolonged time period (not just a couple hours, we’re talking a few weeks to a few months.) You should start slow (a couple days) and build up to more and more time. Some couples will use chastity devices. This truly focuses on the power dynamics between a couple and will challenge that. Again, this requires a lot of conversation and respect between partners.
Safety Risks
Are there any safety risks involved with orgasm denial? YES! So pay close attention. Denying a male partner of an orgasm for too long can cause prostatic fluid to build up. For those that don’t know, this fluid is a part of the makeup of semen and actually becomes stagnant when it’s not released regularly. Why is this dangerous? Bacteria build up! Bacteria build up can lead to prostate disease. Really, no one wants that. Is it avoidable while still denying your male partner of an orgasm? The answer is also yes. The prostate can be milked without causing an orgasm. Definitely be sure to practice good hygiene with this, like cutting your fingernails and washing your hands to avoid any kind of bacteria swapping.
As always, make sure you’re talking to your partner before doing this or if you’re interested, bring it up. Communication is key in a healthy relationship.
