Talking about pleasure and sex causes shame for many

Sex is an incredibly pleasurable way to celebrate yourself and your connection with your partner whenever you desire! Unfortunately for some, it can be a shameful experience that leaves them feeling immense guilt after the big ‘O’.

It’s a stigma in a lot of social circles and many find it beyond difficult to speak about with anyone else! But where does this shame and guilt come from?

We must bury these beliefs so we can obtain pleasure without shame and be able to talk about it comfortably.

The shame is deep-rooted in the media, our upbringings, and the stigma surrounding talking about sex doesn’t help! It’s important to recognize why some of us feel this way. Beyond that, we must find healthy ways to smash the stigma and embrace our well-deserved pleasure once more. Sex is healthy and you should not be made to feel ashamed of seeking pleasure or unable to talk about it openly.

Closely Examine Your Relationship to Sex

If you are someone who experiences shame or guilt in correlation to self-pleasure, it’s important to examine why. This will allow you to discover the root of this shame so you can begin to dismantle it for yourself.

Who put these ideas into your head?

Culture and Religion

Some cultures and religions consider masturbation and sex to be taboo or ‘dirty’. If you were raised to believe that sex and self-pleasure are something that shouldn’t occur outside the means of procreation it can be difficult to embrace the health benefits.

Experiencing pleasure is a right that we as humans deserve and what you do with your body is a beautiful thing. Beyond that, masturbation and sex assist with stress relief, the release of happiness hormones, sleep assistance, and a better connection to your own body and needs. Learn more about the benefits of masturbation here.

Fear Mongering

There are a lot of myths surrounding masturbation and sex that have made their way through the media. Have you ever heard that too much masturbation leads to erectile dysfunction? Numbness and inability to feel pleasure? Hairy palms? These myths regarding masturbation and sex are far from the truth.

Instead of allowing these myths to invoke fear, take time to investigate the truth about the benefits of masturbation.

Social Media Smackdown

We’ve all seen shows or read media that claim different things about sex that are less than positive. Some label those who do it as promiscuous. Others insist that ‘masturbation is only done if someone is not receiving proper pleasure in the bedroom’ – these messages are everywhere! We must reframe the way we speak about masturbation, sex, and those who masturbate. It’s a healthy and beautiful way to connect with your body and discover new pleasures and your voice.

Finding your confidence regarding masturbation is difficult, but you deserve these sensations without shame or guilt. In the end, defeating these stigmas allows you to have a happier body and a happier mind. When we are able to put this shame aside we learn more about ourselves and promote the health benefits of talking about sex socially!

The Damage of Guilt and Shame

The inability to talk with others about sex and shame around sex has been associated with depression, psychological distress, anxiety, and overall unhappiness. Those who expressed feeling guilty in the bedroom also reported having more sexual issues and relationship conflicts. Denying yourself that pleasure will do more harm than good – but breaking down our fundamental beliefs is incredibly difficult.

It’s important to be gentle with yourself. This is not an easy fight but the moment you acknowledge why you feel shame around pleasure, the sooner you can start to turn things around.

In time these feelings fester and create an unhealthy internal environment. Not only does your body suffer in the end, but your mind does as well. There is also no shame in speaking to a professional about the shame and guilt that you may feel regarding self-pleasure.

Try a New Approach and Mentality

Begin acknowledging ways you can talk to yourself about pleasure and masturbation, or how you can speak to others about it. When we admit we feel shame or guilt out loud it takes away the power it has on us. Guilt and shame fester and grow in secrecy.

We should be able to push aside these aged stigmas and embrace that it’s normal and healthy to talk about sex. Let’s celebrate ourselves and our friends instead of treating sex and masturbation like it’s a dirty thing. The more normalized we make the conversation, the better we can embrace our own pleasure without fear or shame.

Bring It All Together

It might be a long road to reprogramming the thoughts in your mind and the stigma around masturbation and pleasure, but the long-term benefits to your body and mind cannot be ignored.